It seems that last Thursday, the reality of everything I have been through in the last year, up to and including the passing of my mother, was weighing on me like a ton of bricks. I could feel the weight in my being, my mind and my soul. I suppose that is part of grieving. I kept trying to work, get things done, going through the motions without accomplishing much. Then I realized, I can't do anything right now except take care of me, or as my dad said, "Crawl under a rock and lick your wounds."
So, I asked myself what I felt most like doing, and it was curling up under a blanket with a book and hot chocolate. I am not a hot chocolate kind of person, in fact I rarely eat sweets. But then I learned these last few months that when times are tough emotionally, chocolate gives you that feeling of love. (I believe there is some scientific fact to this regarding serotonin levels, but this is not my forte'.) Getting back to my story, I did just that - curl up with a book and cup of hot chocolate. It felt wonderful to do that on a weekday at 4:00 in the afternoon. Then 5:00 rolled around, it got darker, and I asked my husband how he felt about me moving over to the couch with him, sharing my blanket and watching a movie with me, with popcorn of course! He jumped at the idea. I haven't made popcorn for years, and it added just that right amount of celebration and fun to the movie party. We watched a fun movie "Man of the Year" and welcomed in the evening smiling under a blanket.
I am slowly nursing myself back to mental and spiritual health.
It turns out that my friend, Inge, over at African Vanielje, spent Sunday being lazy, too. Check out her post on it here.
If you have trouble like I do being lazy, take some lessons from dogs and cats:
You ask, "Then what are you passionate about today, Jeni?" BEING LAZY! This is not something that comes easily to this always busy and moving woman, but I learned how healing it can be. I am sure that with the holidays upon us, things get hectic and we forget to care about ourselves. Try to find a small chunk of time to renew your spirit and nourish your soul with a little laziness.
What does a lazy day (or even a few hours) look like for you?
Have a passionate Monday (and Tuesday, and Wednesday...)!