Today I am passionate about MOTHERS.
My mother did pass away on Friday morning, surrounded by her family. Those of you who have been reading my posts know that she had been in pain and suffering from Lewy Body Dementia for 6 years now. Her release from this life was also a release from her terrible state of health. It couldn't have happened in a more beautiful way, with all of us holding her and encouraging her to let go and move onto a more peaceful place. Once she finally was able to let go of life, her immediate peace and relaxation was apparent. Her face looked 10 years younger, and it was the first time we had seen a tension-free face on her for 6 years. We couldn't get over the contrast. As much as she is missed, we are so happy for her release from her pain.
When I wrote my last post on "doors", little did I know how much that imagery would stay with me through her dying process. Every minute, day and night, one, two, or all three of my mom's daughters were at her side, or curled up on the bed next to hers. Every time it was my "watch", I felt like a guard dog at the doorway of death. (My shepherds lay by doors to guard us, or wait for us to come through.) My mother was not going to cross that threshold of death without me knowing so that I could hold her hand as she passed through. And, now, I too have passed through that other door I mentioned before, the one marked "Life Sans Mother". It is different. I will leave it at that because I have too many emotions going on to sort out how it feels exactly without going off in too many directions.
I want to dwell in the good and happy thoughts as much as possible because the sadness is there anyway, coming in waves. Looking back on my lovely relationship with my mother, for which I count my blessings, I must say that I will miss most her touch, her smell, her friendship and her unconditional love - only the kind a mother can give. There is so much that she passed on to me that I carry on, and remember her by daily, leaving me with much to celebrate.
For those of you out there who have already lost your mother, I know you know what I mean already. For those of you who still have your mother, cherish her while you do so that when she leaves this life you are left with no regrets and no unspoken words or expressions of love.
One of the many great gifts my mother passed on to me - genetically and purposefully - is a love of cooking and a passionate palate. Oddly enough, I didn't realize until this minute that the name of my blog and my company really could be a tribute to my mom.
This is my favorite photo of my mother. It was taken in Mt. Zion, Utah in 1993. She is on a stage singing "Home, Home on the Range" with her 4 year old grand-daughter, Lauren. She was shining like a bright star on that day.