My mother did pass away on Friday morning, surrounded by her family. Those of you who have been reading my posts know that she had been in pain and suffering from Lewy Body Dementia for 6 years now. Her release from this life was also a release from her terrible state of health. It couldn't have happened in a more beautiful way, with all of us holding her and encouraging her to let go and move onto a more peaceful place. Once she finally was able to let go of life, her immediate peace and relaxation was apparent. Her face looked 10 years younger, and it was the first time we had seen a tension-free face on her for 6 years. We couldn't get over the contrast. As much as she is missed, we are so happy for her release from her pain.
When I wrote my last post on "doors", little did I know how much that imagery would stay with me through her dying process. Every minute, day and night, one, two, or all three of my mom's daughters were at her side, or curled up on the bed next to hers. Every time it was my "watch", I felt like a guard dog at the doorway of death. (My shepherds lay by doors to guard us, or wait for us to come through.) My mother was not going to cross that threshold of death without me knowing so that I could hold her hand as she passed through. And, now, I too have passed through that other door I mentioned before, the one marked "Life Sans Mother". It is different. I will leave it at that because I have too many emotions going on to sort out how it feels exactly without going off in too many directions.
I want to dwell in the good and happy thoughts as much as possible because the sadness is there anyway, coming in waves. Looking back on my lovely relationship with my mother, for which I count my blessings, I must say that I will miss most her touch, her smell, her friendship and her unconditional love - only the kind a mother can give. There is so much that she passed on to me that I carry on, and remember her by daily, leaving me with much to celebrate.
For those of you out there who have already lost your mother, I know you know what I mean already. For those of you who still have your mother, cherish her while you do so that when she leaves this life you are left with no regrets and no unspoken words or expressions of love.
One of the many great gifts my mother passed on to me - genetically and purposefully - is a love of cooking and a passionate palate. Oddly enough, I didn't realize until this minute that the name of my blog and my company really could be a tribute to my mom.
This is my favorite photo of my mother. It was taken in Mt. Zion, Utah in 1993. She is on a stage singing "Home, Home on the Range" with her 4 year old grand-daughter, Lauren. She was shining like a bright star on that day.
Barbara Ann Weaver Bloom 1934-2007
So, on this day, and every other, don't forget to celebrate your mother and the good qualities, habits and passions that she passed on to you.
23 comments:
My thoughts are with you.
What a lovely picture, so full of a zest for life. So glad that her end was peaceful, and that you were all there - blessings at such a difficult time.
How generous of you to be thinking of others, of motherhood, at this doorway in your life
Stay strong
x Joanna
joannasfood.blogspot.com
What can I say. I'm sitting here sighing with tears in my eyes for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. If there is anything I can do to help you through this time, please don't hesitate. Even if it's just some email to talk. Big hug.
My sympathies...to you and all your family.
How wonderful that you all were there to help her in those last moments - and that you have such lovely memories to take with you!
I am sorry.
Sweet Jeni,
I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman.
I'm sharing tears with you.
Very big hugs.
Peace be with you, sister.
Scarlett
A heartfelt thanks to all of you for your outpouring of love, support, prayers, thoughts, compliments, and all from women I have never met in person, but who somehow feel like dear friends!
My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are so right to focus on the celebration of your mother's life rather than the circumstances of her death.I feel lucky to still have my mother but I can empathize since I lost both my father and stepfather. Only time will dull the pain, that and the wondeful memories you have of you mother before her illness- hold them tight!
My thoughts are with you. Thank you for writing so openly and honestly about this. It's very generous of you.
I'm sure her passing was filled with love and was as much of a relief to her as it was to you and your family. All our love and thoughts are with you all. XXX
This is a beautiful post, Jeni and a wonderful tribute to your mother. x
A lovely tribute to your mother. Blessings to you.
The bitter and the sweet, all go together to make this life. Moms are so much sweet and I can feel the bitter sweet in your loss. So good to have the passionate memories!
I don't even know where to begin or how to thank each one of you for your thoughts and love I have felt these last six weeks through the end of my mother's life. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that these blogging friendships have been a constant source of support for me, and that I am so grateful to have stumbled into this special world where people really do care.
What a wonderful tribute to your mother, to all mothers and what they mean to us. I love the picture and the memory it represents. Take care.
What a wonderful tribute to your mother, to all mothers and what they mean to us. I love the picture and the memory it represents. Take care.
What a wonderful relationship you had with your Mom! Your love and respect for her comes out in your writing. She did what she was suppose to do on this earth, to be the Best Mother she could be, and to love her family unconditionally.
How lovely your mother looks. What a wonderful picture and wonderful memory of her. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Baking Soda - I'm glad you appreciate the picture as much as I do!
Proud Italian Cook - yes, my mother was all those things and I am so grateful for our great relationship.
Laura - that picture captures her spirit at its happiest and most playful. Thank you for your words.
Jeni,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
A big cyber hug out to you.
I haven't had a chance to visit your blog much, and just read this. I'm very sorry to hear about your mother, and I'll be sending strength energy your way today. I hope everything is okay. I know it's not easy.
Beautiful picture.
My deepest sympathy.
I know this is belated (I only came to your blog today via African Vanielje) but I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Not sorry for her - as you say, it was a release for her - but for you and the incalculable loss you have suffered.
My mom passed away four years to the day last Friday. She, too, had been battling a disease which had gradually diminished her. She was my best friend, my mentor and my shopping companion. I used to fear her death more than anything and when it happened the emptiness that it opened up was ghastly. I know that she lives on in me - my face, my body, my opinions and attitudes, but damn I miss her.
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